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SHE Shouldn'ts of the Holidays...
Part 2
Here is part 2 of the hilarious SHE Shouldn'ts
We have all strived for the "perfect" holiday. And inevitably, this desire for perfection opens the door for those wonderful creative SHE-moments: the stash and dash, the "I can do just one more thing", and more. The result: a SHE Shouldn't for all of us to enjoy! Thank-you so much for sharing. I will be posting more of your SHE Shouldn'ts as the week progresses. - FlyCrew
- Dearest Flylady and Crew...
Please let my fellow Flybabies know....SHE's REALLY shouldn't paint in their underwear! Let me explain....Last year - BEFORE Flylady - I volunteeered to host.my Sunday School Class Christmas party. Now, I have 4 kids, and a truck-driving husband, and blah, blah, blah - whine, whine - my house was a WRECK!
I decided that in 2 weeks I could transform my living room and dining room to "House Beautiful"! I cleared the mess out, and started painting. I was wearing my underpants, an old T-shirt, and a plastic shower cap (to keep the paint out of my hair!). I leaned a little too far on the step stool, and, you guessed it - I FELL! I landed flat on my back in the ONLY bare spot on the floor. As I was falling, I thought, "Uh Oh, the paramedics are going to get quite an "eye-full"!"
Luckily, I was fine, and actually, my back felt better - some kind of cheap chiropractic treatment?!? lol After the holidays FINALLY were over, I "resolved" to never do that again! I stumbled across your website on January 5th, and the rest, as they say, is history! This year is so different! I am already working on my Holiday Control Journal, and making plans to FLY through this wonderful time of year. My home is not "perfect" (and NEVER will be!), but it is so much neater and less cluttered....that we won't need a major overhaul.
No more crash (literally) and burn for me! Flying is so much more fun...and peaceful! I don't ever want to feel that "freak-out" again. Thank you, thank you, thank you - you may have saved my life - in more ways than one! (And the paramedics thank you, too! lol)
Fluttering in shoes AND clothes in SC!
- Hello Fly-Crew!!!
I am loving the holiday cruising plan and especially loving the SHE shouldn'ts. TOO FUNNY!!
I could probably write a small book on holiday SHE shouldn'ts, but today, I will share just one or two. (And, yup, these are from personal experience)
SHE's should not volunteer to host a portion of the church's youth group's travelling dinner TWO days before it is to happen, when the house is not yet decorated, Christmas baking is not yet done, the grocery supplies are low and the 4 year old DD is just starting to recover from a nasty cold. The travelling dinner is where the youth group travel by car from one house to the next, eating one course of the meal at each stop. SHE's should not volunteer to do the appetizers (or any other course), especially in a tiny house, with an even tinier kitchen, hiding all the pans that they used to prepare the appetizers with in the oven, her own family's dinner dishes and pots thrown hastily into the dishwasher and all the bills and such from the kitchen hotspot shuffled from their usual spot of residence to the laundry room where they are now out of site (and possibly out of mind, as SHE's should never shuffle their paperwork either).
SHE's should definitely not decide to do all the gift wrapping in one go, waiting until the last present has been bought (Christmas Eve Day most likely). SHE's should not wait until they start wrapping said gifts to check to see that they have enough wrapping paper, tape and ribbon.
Thanks again for helping us FLY/cruise through the holidays, bringing blessing into our homes and lives.
And thank you for helping us SHE's to see the humorous sides of ourselves, as we all too often burden ourselves with guilt for not being to keep up with our own "perfect" standards. I wish that every woman, young woman and girl could learn to FLY.
Shari,
Lynden, WA
- She shouldn't invite her entire family (30 people) over to an 800 square
foot house when the family has just traveled 9 hours to get there Christmas
morning. She shouldn't go out to find Christmas napkins on Christmas Eve
because DH used all the nice poinsettia ones to change the oil in the car.
She shouldn't spend 4 hours wrapping stocking stuffers (that's stocking
stuffers, not gifts!) the night before everyone arrives. She shouldn't
panic because she realizes on Christmas morning that she didn't buy a gift
for her mother in-laws boyfriend who announced he was coming the night
before. She shouldn't wrap up her DH's favorite DVD when she couldn't find
any stores that were open! She shouldn't call her neighbour to find
currants to put in the stuffing 2 minutes before it should go in the oven
and she shouldn't call her friend to borrow one exact teaspoon of Muscavado
for her brother in law's Earl Grey Tea! She shouldn't spend all her extra
time "visiting" with the smaller children because she's afraid they will
mess up the toy room. And most of all she shouldn't do all this after
giving birth to her second boy two weeks earlier!
This was Christmas 2002. The only smart thing I did do that year was have
someone else bring the turkey! I ended up in the hospital bed for two days
after all this with a dehabilitating migraine. This year everyone is coming
over again, but this year the family is only coming for dinner and I bought
the currants and Muscavado in September! And I'm not wrapping the stocking
stuffers! You've taught me to realize that there are more important things
to do than wrap stocking stuffers - this year I'll spend those four hours
sitting with my DH in front of our woodstove drinking Earl Grey with one
not-so-exact teaspoon of Muscavado in it. Thanks FlyLady!
- FlyBaby in Canada
- a few years back, i took up quilting seriously.I was inspired to them for family members, but only those in my home, so I could control where they went!. consequently, i made one each for DH, DS, and DD. this only gave me the fall to complete 3 quilts, by hand in my spare time. you can see the inevitable coming... i was still stitching late on Christmas Eve. Wrapped them loosely in big bags at the last minute, and they weren't actually finished. not pins in them still, but after they were on the beds, i would go back when the kids were in school to add the stitches i ran out of time for. perfectionism at its silliest! I know better now.
thanks for all your inspiration
a red sox flutter fan in beantown
- Dear FlyLady,
My SHE Shouldn't happened last Thanksgiving. I was making my giblet gravy to go with my dressing. I got in too big of a hurry and reached into what I thought was my well-organized drawer of baking supplies to get my cornstarch. What I added to my gravy was baking soda! It tasted hideous and I was heartbroken. Won't happen again!
- SHE shouldn't forget to make a list of whose presents are hidden where. Not pleasant to find a favorite cousin's stocking stuffer hanging in the "fancy dress bag" on New Years Eve - or worse, in the pocket of a spring jacket!
- I have a "funny" from just yesterday. Read about starting my holiday baking and decided that it sounded like a great idea. Got my kitchen cleaned up and ready...starting making cut out butter cookie dough...creaming 6 sticks of real butter (my last sticks of butter) and proceeded to add the sugar ~ no problem...then started to add the eggs. I had this little nagging voice tell me that it would probably be a good idea to NOT crack the eggs over the dough, but I did it anyway and dropped the entire egg and shell into the dough. UGH!!! I couldn't believe it! After a moment of shock, I just laughed...had to go to the store and get more butter and start again. REMEMBER to crack those eggs into a separate container...this is NOT the way I wanted to start off my new preparations for the holiday season! OH WELL...happy cooking! Thanks soooo much for your babystep encouragement! This website and the loving advise has changed our family's lives! Bless you ALL! Kathy from Washougal Washington
- SHEs shouldn't try and do it by themselves. Ask for help!
- I decorate Ukrainian eggs and enjoy showing others how to do them. One busy holiday season I agreed to do a demonstration on an icy night. I was trying to take everything from the car into the building in one trip (my SHEness showing through) and put all of my eggs in one basket. Haven't we always heard never to do this? I slipped in the icy parking lot, fell, and broke every single egg. Each had taken hours to do, and in seconds they were all gone. I finally learned that night that even if it takes a little longer, I need to slow down and take seveal trips when carrying items. It has been a valuable lesson.
Utah Flybaby
- SHE shouldn’t bake pumpkin pie the day before the holiday and decide to rest her eyes while the pies cook. Because SHE will not wake up when the timer goes off. SHE will continue sleeping until the smell of pie finally wakes her up. By then, the pies will have over baked. When SHE gives DH a slice, he notices the smoky flavor, which is not part of the pie. Of, course by then she is rushing off to the store the night before the holiday searching with all the other SHES, for the last can of pumpkin in the store, and vowing to NEVER do this again!!!
- Dear Flylady and flylady family,
A Holiday SHE shouldn't attempt to bake something for a holiday fundraiser when one is pregnant.
First sign of trouble??
Pregnancy brain kicked in and I couldn't remember what I just read via the recipe and measurement amounts needed for one key ingredient.
Second sign???
Don't tell the same prego brain that your going to double the recipe thinking that everyone would be so impressed at how much you did and brought to the fundraiser and being almost 9 month pregnant!!
Third sign??
Continue with the doubling the recipe plan but then in two minutes you will forget that conversation with yourself and revert back to the single recipe after having already doubled the first ingredient!
Result??
You get really buttery caramels that didn't hold their shape and were not fit for the fundraiser selling table.
Also, because of my SHE brain that kept telling me how much I spent to make these, how much work it was and how wasteful it would be to throw them away, I thought I should keep them!
What was I thinking??
I even consumed a few of them, or maybe more than a few, and felt such hideous remorse that it lead to a vicious cycle of guilt followed by, yes thats right, more eating!!
UGH!!!!!
NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
: )
May you all have a wonderful Holiday!!!!!!!!!!
Flying in Minnesota!!!!!
- Dear FlyLady,
For the holidays, SHE shouldn't plan a 6 am flight to her sister's
house. This involves getting up at 4 am, to arrive at Dear Sissy's for
an 11 am pie baking session and light lunch. SHE and DH got in early,
and Sissy, (another SHE) wasn't even out of her pajamas at 10 am on
Christmas Eve Day!
So the Sister SHE's sent out the DH's to the local store to try to buy
some frozen pies, while the sisters tried to make a cake and cookie
treats. The Happy Birthday Baby Jesus cake is a tradition in our family,
and it was made from a box mix that year. Eventually Sissy and the two
nephews were dressed and ready, and all the treats were bundled up to go
to Grandma's house. By 4 pm, the travelling SHE was ready to go to bed,
but Christmas Eve was just beginning. So, SHE's should plan flights
that are at a more normal time, and always keep a boxed cake mix around
in case you don't have time to make the fancy one you planned !!
Now Happily Taking Baby Steps,
Susan in Michigan and Donna in New York.
- She's Shouldn't:
Wrap all the presents for her three daughters, their husbands and her seven grandchildren without writing the names on the tags! (My mother has done this at least once)
Shouldn't attempt new variations on recipes that are going to be part of a big Christmas dinner...it's guaranteed that something just won't work.
Shouldn't even try baking when they're short of time! Sugar and salt look too much alike when you're in a hurry.
Flying in Terrace Bay, Ontario!
- Holiday She's shouldn't skimp on wrapping materials. Taking bows off items their children opened and sticking them on the relatives unopened items or reusing gift bags that have just been emptied to take to Aunt Lucille later in the day lead to haphazard wrapping and possibly mixing up of labels. Aunt Lucille may end up with Cousin Bruce's socks.
Holiday She's shouldn't buy gifts early unless they write down where they hide them. Busy women inevitably forget where they put things or that they even bought them.
Holiday She's shouldn't leave the Christmas roll of film unfinished or they won't see the holiday pictures till after Easter. By then the excitement of the holidays is just not there.
- She's shouldn't...plan on using the microwave to thaw the turkey. If a She were to decide to follow this plan anyway, then She should check that the turkey will actually fit the microwave when She brings the turkey home, because if She doesn't check, She will of course not worry about thawing the bird till "the day", and then be left with the dilemma of how to thaw the turkey with only 6 hours left till dinner!
Been there - done that!
from Victoria BC
- SHE's that can't FLY shouldn't plan three family dinners at her home within three days of each other.
Last year, before I knew what a SHE was or had ever heard of FLYing, we played host to both extended families for Christmas. It seemed like a good idea in early November, after we'd stashed and dashed for our Halloween party and the house was semi-respectable. In addition to our personal (DH, DD and myself) Christmas, both sides of the family ended up at our home last year. Not only did I kill my holiday budget by making ham loaf, turkey, and a ham, but the cleanup before and after each event became a huge argument between my DH and myself.
Here's how we cleaned before FLYing: DD gets TV time. DH - "cleans" the bathrooms leaving dust behind the toilet, but giving the floor a cursory sweep and mop. I remind him to wipe down the outside of the toilet bowl, and he stews a bit. Meanwhile I gather everything that doesn't belong in a room and pile it in one location - in the kitchen, it's the breakfast nook, but it's never clean anyway so we don't miss it. In the dining room, it's the table (so now there's nowhere to eat), in the living room, it's the couch which is piled so high that when you walk past it something falls off (and when you pick it up, something else falls off). We each pick a room and start putting things away. This lasts for a few hours, then we're tired and break for lunch. After lunch we look at what we've accomplished (not enough) and grab grocery bags to stash. I fill the bags and DH runs up and down the stairs stashing them wherever he can find space. Then we run the vacuum and dust the "obvious" spots. I'm frantically trying to get the kitchen clean while I cook because it's always the last room to be done. In the days following, we have several arguments because he doesn't know what was in which bag, and I don't know where any of the bags were stashed, so we can't find "item X."
Because DD is the youngest grandchild and the only grandchild on my side of the family, both sets of grandparents joined us on Christmas morning to see her reaction to Santa's bounty. I was up at dawn making ham loaf and preparing for dinner. The next day, I was up at dawn again, baking turkey (which of course had not completely thawed) for the in-laws. Not wanting to serve leftovers (although who would have known except myself and my DH), I was up again the next day, a spiral cut ham roasting away in the oven.
By New Year's Eve we had eaten our fill of ham and turkey, and our home was again open for an evening with friends. Before the holidays and in between Christmas and New Year's, I'd made mad dashes from room to room, cramming things into our upstairs "library" (where you can't get to the book shelves, let alone see the floor - can you say prime candidate for a room rescue?), into closets, and under our bed. Sure, pounds and pounds of garbage went out the door as well, but I was still dancing with gift boxes, bows, ribbons, and wrapping paper well into February. Some of the ribbons ended up in DD's toy box instead of in the storage area.
On New Year's Day, we do nothing - we'd picked up all the trash after everyone left the night before. We collapse in our respective lounge chairs and look at the three "clean" rooms in our house, vowing never to let it get that bad again. The next week, we were back to the same old habits
This year, I hope I'm already on my way to changing this "routine." I have a long way to go, but my kitchen sink is shining, my dining room table is set every day and my routines are falling into place. DH doesn't have to clean the bathroom because it's cleaned throughout the week. I'm looking forward to spending the holidays with my family instead of my exhaustion. I may not be 15 minutes from clean, but I'm getting there. My baby steps falter, but each time I pick myself up and move a little closer to my goal. I am truly inspired by others who have paved the way to a peaceful, happy, beautiful home.
Learning to FLY in Ohio
- SHEs shouldn't wait until the day before company arrives to have their carpet shampooed. The SHE could discover that the cleaning company moves the sofa out to shampoo behind it and forgets to shampoo the 6" in FRONT of the sofa. Company arriving then gets to witness how dirty the carpeting was BEFORE the shampooing and wonders what the house looks like before CHAOS cleaning. SHE is horribly embarrassed. (This year it's already scheduled !!!)
Thank you.
Cheryl
- Dear Flycrew,
Okay so maybe it wasn't me being the SHE, but it's
definitely my most vivid holiday memory.
Every year on christmas eve my mom and my aunts and
uncles would pack up all of us grandkids and send us
to my one single aunt's house. Our parents would
immediately leave, then our single aunt would make
popcorn and load four, five, and sometimes more of us
in her tiny little car. Then we'd drive around her
town and all the neighboring towns looking at
christmas lights. After we'd been driving for half an
hour or so she'd pop by my grandma's house to "see if
she knew any other good neighborhoods". This
continued on until I was 10 and there was no more room
for my older brother and I in the car, and most of my
cousins are too old for it now too.
I found out many years later that my mother and
cousins' parents hid all the christmas gifts in my
grandma's bedroom and on christmas eve they'd all get
together in a mad dash to sort and wrap gifts. Nobody
knew what anybody bought for anyone and there were
several years I opened my cousins gift only to be very
confused as to why I was getting a baby walker at the
age of 6. Sometimes they would even go out shopping
for their stocking stuffers while we were out with my
aunt!!
Because this was the time before cell phones my aunt
had to check in a lot to see if they were done yet.
There were several occasions where we had driven an
hour to my other grandparents neighborhood to "look at
christmas lights" then returned on the hour drive
back, only to be told that there were "nice lights
down the road"
It's was tons of fun for us kids, but I can only
imagine what went on for our parents :)
- Dear Flycrew,
Okay so maybe it wasn't me being the SHE, but it's
definitely my most vivid holiday memory.
Every year on christmas eve my mom and my aunts and
uncles would pack up all of us grandkids and send us
to my one single aunt's house. Our parents would
immediately leave, then our single aunt would make
popcorn and load four, five, and sometimes more of us
in her tiny little car. Then we'd drive around her
town and all the neighboring towns looking at
christmas lights. After we'd been driving for half an
hour or so she'd pop by my grandma's house to "see if
she knew any other good neighborhoods". This
continued on until I was 10 and there was no more room
for my older brother and I in the car, and most of my
cousins are too old for it now too.
I found out many years later that my mother and
cousins' parents hid all the christmas gifts in my
grandma's bedroom and on christmas eve they'd all get
together in a mad dash to sort and wrap gifts. Nobody
knew what anybody bought for anyone and there were
several years I opened my cousins gift only to be very
confused as to why I was getting a baby walker at the
age of 6. Sometimes they would even go out shopping
for their stocking stuffers while we were out with my
aunt!!
Because this was the time before cell phones my aunt
had to check in a lot to see if they were done yet.
There were several occasions where we had driven an
hour to my other grandparents neighborhood to "look at
christmas lights" then returned on the hour drive
back, only to be told that there were "nice lights
down the road"
It's was tons of fun for us kids, but I can only
imagine what went on for our parents :)
- Hi Flylady & Crew
SHE's shouldn't decide that the sweet potatoes would look "perfect" with a
beautiful golden crust of marshmallows on top. This would mean that SHE's
would put the casserole dish under the broiler -- Of course, I can
multi-task (ha ha) so I had time to peek into the living room --- just in
time to discover that someone was going to find one of my hotspots by
pulling the chair away from the computer desk. Of course this would mean
leaving the sweet potatoes unattended for "just a second" while I tried to
hide my clutter. SHE would certainly see the CHAOS that would occur when
said sweet potatoes caught ON FIRE - filling my holiday home with black
smoke and sending everyone into a tizy! It's been 2 years and my family
still laughs about the Thanksgiving "Sweet Potatoes Flambee".
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