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Ask FlyLady Archive!
This is our archive of the previous weeks Ask FlyLady questions and answers. If you missed a question from last week, this is the place to find it.
Ask FlyLady is one of our favorite parts of FlyLady.net. We get so many questions sent to us everyday, that we have decided to share some of these questions and FlyLady's answers with you. You may be surprised by what she has to say! Enjoy.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Moving...
Dear FlyLady,
I'm getting married in June, and my fiance and I are both in our late
20's and have well established, seperate, households. I was wondering
if you had any advice on merging our stuff. I've read your moving tips
and have been flinging clutter for the last year, so I'm pretty
prepared to move my things, but he's got an apartment full of clutter
and I don't even know where to start! I can't just fling all the junk
that I don't love, because I know some of it is important to him.
v
And above and beyond moving, I'd appreciate any Flylady words of wisdom
on the whole process! Most of my married friends lived together for at
least a few months before marrying, and most of the older women I know
didn't have an established household of their own. We're coming
straight home from our honeymoon, packing up and moving!
Dear Friend,
Robert and I merged two households too. He had a housefull of clutter and so did I. We did have one thing going for us. We got married in his home and I had to spend several days getting the house clean as well as painted for the wedding. Our friends cleaned up after the reception and we were left to have our honeymoon in our own home. I didn't move my stuff in until the next week. I did a lot of decluttering when I cleaned out my cabin and as I brought the boxes into our new home I unpacked them. I still had lots of clutter and so did Robert. Then we went to estate auctions and bought more. It took me another two years to get tired of suffocating in our clutter for me to start getting rid of the things that we didn't love or need. I did not declutter Robert's things. As the clutter started to go away; he started cleaning out his areas.
I had to retrain myself from thinking that I might need it one day. Suze Orman really did help with my thinking poor attitude. This is why I recommend her books in our FLY Library.
http://flylady.net/pages/FlyLibrary.asp
- FlyLady
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Transitional...
Dear FlyLady,
We have lived in an apartment for six years and may soon be moving -- but we're not sure! I really want to start getting ready to move just in case. I have read your moving tips several times. I am being careful to do my decluttering via 27-fling boogies, 5-minute room rescues, and 15 minutes decluttering, but do you have any suggestions for doing a transitional packing up of things we won't need and getting ready to turn the apartment back over to the landlord? We do have plenty of storage space for boxes.
Thank you!!!!
Dear Friend,
Getting rid of the clutter is your first action, but how do you do that without being overwhelmed too. Start by using our zones if you need to: One drawer at a time or one cabinet. Pack up what you won't need into boxes and label them. We all have way too much stuff. If you don't love it; fling it. If you have two of them toss the other! Bag up the stuff you don't want any longer and take it straight to the car and next time you are out, donate it.
The fewer things you have to pack the faster it will go. Practice doing 2 boxes a day to move and 2 boxes to donate. It will go much faster than packing up all your stuff at once. Then so will the unpacking! You won't have anything that you don't love to unpack. You will be smiling with each box.
- FlyLady
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Parents...
Dear FlyLady,
My husband & I have been seperated for about 20 months now and I have been living with
my parents for the past year. I have just recently found a used mobile home that I will be moving into the first of June. I am looking forward to it, not only because I will be out of my parent's home again; but because I have always been a slob of a housekeeper. (That's the biggest complaint my husband always had about our marriage, oh and me wanting to keep some cash out of my paycheck each payday.) I'm really looking forward to this move because I am ready to try my wings at decluttering. I have had to keep most of my STUFF in a storage building since moving out of our marrige home. What little I took with me is in my 9 ft. by 121 ft. bedroom. (It consist of a full size bed, a 3-drawer chest, a plant stand, and a computer desk. The stairs to the basement are also in my bedroom, so I have had NO privacy in a year.
I am really excited to be moving, but I'm scared too. I want to prove to myself that I can learn to keep a clean home and not have to worry about anyone showing up unexpectedly. I've tried starting a bedtime routine, but I keep falling flat on my face. I am NOT a morning person so I have not been able to start a morning routine at all. If you have any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated.
Ready to start flappng my wings.
GA flybaby
Dear Friend,
It sounds as if you have already gotten rid of your clutter. Keeping your new home clean is going to be a piece of cake when you move in because you don't have all that baggage with you. Only moving the things that you truly love is going to make you smile when you walk into your new home.
I am so proud of you. Start with a simple before bed routine by picking up after yourself before you go to bed and shining your kitchen sink. When you get up in the morning you are going to be so happy to see a comfortable place to live. After all you deserve it!
- FlyLady
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Deployed...
Dear FlyLady,
My youngest ds has been deployed to Iraq and left a room full of mess behind. I have been a flybaby for ~2 years, sometimes better than others, but definately improving my house and my attitiude. I have boogied the obvious trash, but am having a hard time dealing with everything else. As you say, it is hard to boogie for anyone else. I need to bring this room back in to my house. I love this child very much, but I definately do not want a shrine. Help!
Kathy in NH
Dear Friend,
The question I have is your son ever going to live in your home again. If so he needs a room that is going to welcome him. It may be time to box of all of his stuff for him to move into his new home. Be careful not to throw away things and to label the boxes according to where the stuff came from: Closet, Dresser, chest of drawers. Then he will be able to find what he may need to look for. Most likely it is all trash, but you don't know and it is not your decision.
Then turn that room into a lovely guest room that will welcome him. After all it is your home and once children go off to college or the military they never really come home again. They will just be visiting. Then send a few boxes with him each time he comes to visit.
- FlyLady
Monday, November 9, 2009
Saver...
Dear FlyLady,
For the most part, I've decluttered what I can that is mine and my 2 small children's. However, my DH is a saver! He saves old jars, bikes thrown out on the curb by others (they can be repaired and given away), lumber (might come in handy), his deceased mother's accordion (he has NO memories of her ever playing it), a typewriter we've never used, there are knickknacks on some shelves that I'd love to boogie. He has 3 pair of long underwear, a 6 foot Dr Who scarf and t-shirts with holes that are "good for working around the yard". Help! I've urged, suggested, nudged, and made lists for him. If it could be contained to a small area, it wouldn't be so bad (I'm not whining, really). Ideas please!
Fluttering in Massachusetts
Dear Friend,
I know this is hard, but we have to be patient with our husbands. He has been saving things or shall we say hoarding things his whole life. It has taken you months to be able to let go of your stuff. His stuff has importance to him too. Don't be a nag or whine at him. You are letting your perfectionism take over again. I promise he will come around. After all he cannot read your mind. Sit down and talk about it. I do have a suggestion of a wonderful book that helped me to release my clutter and bless others. It is Suze Orman's book; The Courage to be Rich. Buy him a copy; or get the tapes to listen to. She teaches us that if we let go of our clutter that we will be blessed.
Our packrat husbands are just like we were only a few months ago!
http://flylady.net/pages/FlyLibrary.asp
- FlyLady
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